Youniverse

I was born in a small fishing village in the countryside of Ortania, a small country in the Holden Mountain Range of Bask. My mother was a peasant girl, whom claimed I was the illegitimate son of the local noble, Count Fitherstickleson, but that claim has yet to be realized. I was forced into a life of servitude at the very early age of four, when I was sold to a Botswanian diamond merchant whom was traveling through our shaggy town on accident. His valet had taken a wrong turn at the foot of the Alps and they where lost in need of supplies when they came upon our quaint village. Shivalgo, the merchant jumped at the chance to aquire me for he knew I would grow, with the prope grooming of course, into a formidable ally and comrade. For many years I followed Shivalgo, as his servant, and learned many skills. Fighting, advanced acrobatics, hunting, alchemy and high stakes poker just to name a few. The time came in my adolesance when my wild spirit became to much to keep tame and I turned on Shivalgo facing the end of his whip, and I killed him where he stood with the blunt end of a stove top espresso maker. Once free of Shivlago's torturous villany, I fled to the new world. I took a merchant boat from Port Florence under the guise of a merchant marine, I took the name of Horacio, on the vessel HMS Carthax. I met an old sailor, Gustandino, whom took an imediate liking to me and apprenticed me in the fine art of mechanical repair. He told me brash stories of the new world and this amazing horseless carriage that would travel anywhere, despite the difficulty of terrain, aptly named Jeep. I instantly was in love with his tales of rocks, sand, mud and gears. We landed in a strange place named in Spanish The Fat Tip, and I at once secured myself a legendary Jeep, that Gustandino had so vividly described in his stories.

I had found my calling.....

Years past in great happiness, as I lived my life. I settled in a small village, much like my original home, named North Port. I met the girl of my dreams, and I now carry out my days happily and full of vigor and splendor.

Spend 24 hours in my head and you will never return to yours!



Humor People Sex Alcohol Theology Dogs and Cats living together Chewing Gum Laughter Jeeps Camping Hiking Fishing Family Books Music Food Fun Improper Spelling Unexplained phenomena Scientific research Hugs Slacking off Movies Other people's interests Deep thought Kareoke Musical instruments No punctuation Explosions Experimental procedures Martial arts Reason and his buddy logic Emotional outbursts Fun with circus animals
Not nessesarily in that order or limtited to the list above.......

I think in movie quotes

I would never let the wookie win

I believe I can fly

I was born with a set of hand tools

I have never worn ladies underwear(lies)

I make up for short commings with enthusiasm and willingness to experiment

Yes I am mentally stable and metaphysically april fresh

I have the stain removing power of Arm and Hammer

I was born with a guitar in one hand and a wrench in the other, my mother still hasn't forgiven me

I never cook the same exact thing twice

I seldom am understood by those who can not understand me

My garage is full of tools so please do not act like one






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