Youniverse

6/9/09
A Dance With Adverity

I will dance in fields of flowers and feel the rain upon my skin,
I will laugh louder than the thunder and embrace the strength within.
I will harness all the lightening as it bolds across my sky,
I will choose laughter in the moment, despite my need to cry.

I will drink from muddy waters and let the dirt quench my thirst.
I will not live a life like a play that’s been rehearsed.
I will swim against the tides instead of standing on the shore.
The beauty in a moment will never be ignored.

I’ll remember where I have come from,
finding strength within the strife.
I will find hope within the future
on this crazy ride called life.

1/13/09
This Perfect Moment

I lay on his field of white cotton, wanting for nothing more than this moment… this perfect moment where I am allowed to be consumed by my passion for him and I dare to let my inhibitions and fears fall from my mind.

His breath on my skin feels warm, like the wind kissing my body as it rolls off the Carolina shore.

And I just have to close my eyes if only to embrace the sweet smell of him. It simply reminds me of home… a place where I can exist without fear, without worry.

His voice cradles my body in perfect serenity, wrapping around me and giving me comfort like an old childhood lullaby that my heart has been longing to hear.

And his hands … his hands reach far beyond than the flesh they embrace …they command my passion and he simply guides me towards a place of sweet release.

I am not sure where time or circumstance will take us, but as I lay here in his arms in this perfect moment…
I realize I am all that I ever wanted to be.







1/11/09
Who is this man?
He is simply a stranger and yet when his arms reached for me they seemed to cradle me beyond the physical… the mere thought of him now takes my mind places where it has no right to go. Who is this man who has captivated my senses with a mere kiss? The memory of the way his lips tasted is still fresh on my tongue and the thought of tasting him again is simply consuming. My spirit feels restless for his touch… the feel of his strong hands pulling me towards him… stirring emotions that linger long after the embrace ends. Who is this man?


1/10/09
Not Now
His hands reach for me and my body surrenders to the passion that is found in his touch. I allow him to take my scent, my taste, my fire. I can feel his eyes searching my spirit for where I hide my heart and I must look away. I know he has the power to find it and I cry inside …
Not now love, not now.


1/6/09
Your Gift

All my life I fought to make my mind go numb when the darkness came for me. It was my fight alone since the day my father’s hand slipped from mine.

I held no trust in white knights who wore cloaks of self righteousness. Never did I whisper my weaknesses … survival I suppose.

Countless battles placed me on my knees, my strength to fight was almost completely drained from my heart. Feeling empty, almost longing for the final blow… it was not life I wished to end, just the person I had become.

When at my weakest moment of the fight, I found you …
The beauty of you was that you taught me how to fight a battle within myself that you could not have known was waged. You gave me strength without seizing it back. You gave me hope without expecting rewards. I opened to you and when you saw my nakedness, you furnished me with a suit of armor without raping my soul. You taught me that strength lied within the courage to face my pain and find the lessons beyond it. You taught me that acknowledging my fears gave me power to overcome them. You taught me that forgiveness for myself would lead me to true happiness.

These lessons have guided me through my days and have lead me to the woman I always knew I could be, letting go of the broke girl I once was. Your gift to me is immeasurable. I will love you always.


11/15/08
Driving down the road I was having an intellectual conversation with my 11 year old son. The one who is always acutely aware of how I look and what I am wearing says to me… “Mom, what is that?” He reaches across and touches the side of my face. I look in the mirror… and there it was. It was the moment I had been dreading…a moment when I was being confronted with my own mortality. I just smiled and said “That would be my first wrinkle.”
I sat there wondering shouldn’t I be sad. The first wrinkle is definitely a sign that youth is behind me. But I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming feeling of contentment. Here I was, facing a moment every woman dreads, and I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. The one prevailing thought was there is something amazing beautiful about my first wrinkle being a laugh line! I love it!


11/13/08
In every woman’s life there comes a time, a time for her to evaluate… a time of reflection. She is a deep soul looking for purpose, searching for truth... searching for a true sense of self. A soaring spirit looking for the calm and peace life can sometimes take away.

In every woman’s life there comes a moment… a moment when we must acknowledge emotions that we have hidden deep within ourselves… a moment when every tear we’ve never allowed ourselves to cry comes flooding back with waves of unexpected emotion. A moment when the little girl within us collides with the woman we are meant to be.

In every woman’s life there comes a point in time … a point where she has cried the tears, she has felt the pain, she has confronted her demons, and she finds the strength to rise about it all. She just simply embraces the beauty and the complexity or her own heart. She grounds herself in her life’s plan and she just simply is … in all her splendor and wonder … she is a woman.


10/26/08
Okay… no poetry today.. just food for thought. I woke up this morning feeling beat up and beat down by life. Nothing new really, I had been feeling this way for a couple months. Telling myself that I was completely justified in feeling this way… after all, for more than three years I have been under an enormous amount of financial and emotional stress raising three children, working, and going to school. Anyone in my situation would be overwhelmed…. Right? And then I thought… GET OVER YOURSELF … honestly, life could be much worse! I have been embracing all the negativity of the stress for the past couple months and have grounded myself in the shifty sand of sadness and despair. My positive attitude was slowly slipping through my fingers and it left me with becoming a person that I really wasn’t liking.
So … today I have vowed to let go off all my reasoning to stay overwhelmed and unhappy… Instead, I am embracing the happiness that can be found despite the strife.
It is funny how we grasp negativity as humans and that it takes a conscious effort to choose happiness over despair…
Today… I am choosing happiness again.

10/21/08
I never wanted to be this strong

empty hands
on my knees
move past the pain
i must believe
bills to pay
test to past
laundry is waiting
hurry fast
mouths to feed
hearts need love
no time to cry
rise above
heart is breaking
must move on
past the hurt of the same old song
I never wanted to be this strong


Waiting

If I could just unwrap myself from the despair of this moment, I feel like I could see the lesson that is waiting here for me.
My mind rallies around the belief that there is reason for the struggle. There is hope....
I may not see today …
but I know that it is a hope that will lead me to a stronger self tomorrow.



10/20/08
Man in My Arms

Simply step into my arms and allow the world to fall away.
I am waiting ....
waiting for that moment...
the moment when you surrender your fears
and leave them lying outside my door.
Allow yourself to become lost within my passion and grounded within my love.
I want to set you on fire with the emotion I hold for you. Just simply melt into my kiss and allow me to love you like no other. Lose yourself in the scent of my body, the passion in my kiss, the hunger in my touch and the sounds of my soft moans rolling off my lips.
I am asking you to leave the world behind and just simply be the man in my arms.



10/19/08
My Creed
I am a woman who is strong by nature and soft by will. I do not need to build walls to love and do not need to be less than I am to be loved. I will love with all that I am and all that I will become. I am honest and trustworthy and will never dedicate my heart to anyone who cannot see those beautiful qualities and embrace them. I am dedicated and focused to my goals and will not cry or apologize for those who cannot that as a strength. I stand strong in the face of adversity knowing that I will be stronger when the struggle subsides. Because of this I will love despite the fear of a broken heart because the man who is worthy of me will deserve nothing less.
I will ground my happiness in my emotional and mental maturity … knowing they pull my heart away from pain and despair. I will embrace my tears as a sign of strength ….. and find the meaning behind them.
I will only dedicate my heart to a man who can see that my beauty runs deeper than the color of my lips or the shape of my body. A man who can give back as much as he receives. A man who can laugh like a boy and love like a man. A man who is willing to love me like he has loved no other.
If I do not find this man, my heart will be filled with love of family, friends, life … I will be happy. Sadness and despair cannot have me.
This is MY CREED!



10/16/08
We are women
Find peace of mind knowing what broke you yesterday does not have the power to break you today. Know that with every emotional battle won, you acquire strength and endurance to face the world with a knowledge that we are a women …
strong at heart…
strong with will.
Despair and sadness may touch our lives but we have the tenacity to rise above.
We are women.



kiss me

kiss me like “that” i whisper
and in a moment you take me to another world
where my body exist in only waves of emotions
where my mind goes numb
the world stops spinning
and the clock stops ticking

kiss me like “that” i whisper
and with the gentle touch of your lips on mine
you take me inside of you
allowing me to lose myself within you
allowing me to just be one with you

Kiss me like “that” i whisper
and in this moment i will live with no fear of losing you
this moment will signify all of who i am
and the entirety of the woman i will become

and know, with all the strength you hold as my man…
the Man who can kiss me like “that”
I will love you as no woman ever has, and in return, I will love you like “that”


10/15/08
No More

thrash my heart with your tongue
lay weight upon my fears
play the hero with my pain
you’re the salt within my tears
you beat me with my skeletons
till my eyes can’t see the light
you find comfort when i crawl to you
your security is in my plight

my love left long before my legs
found the strength to walk away
no need to beg for sympathy
there is no reason now to stay
true to form, you give one last lick
as i’m walking out the door
you chalk it up to love
i just simply say “no more”


9/24/08 Hmmm... what can I say that you can't figure out by looking at the pictures I choose...
Okay... I am single mother of three young men and I am working my way through nursing school. I graduate in December and will be relocating my family back to the Carolinas to work and finish off my masters.
I believe dreams are more than just abstract realities. I dream big and work hard towards achieving my goals.
Nothing is more precious to me than my family and friends.
My favorite emotion is laughter through tears.
I am motivated by emotions, experiences, inspirational people... not money. Posessions mean very little to me, people and experiences mean everyting.
One of the most important lessons I have learned in this life is I can't grow if I don't step out of my box.
Another lesson I have learned is there is not enough time in the day to be writing things like this!! Haha Bye for now!

Everything in life interests me except for unusual piercings. I don't care how much enhancement they are suppose to provide, I am not messing with a good thing.
Activities that I love are running, hiking, camping, fishing, and kayaking. Activities I would like to learn more about is mountain biking, rock climbing, white water kayaking, and kite surfing.
I love people watching... behavior intrigues me. If I didn't love nursing so much I would be a sociologist.
I love getting lost in thought and writing.